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Ladies of the world, this is for y’all. Sex can be great and it can be no-so-great, and I’ve compiled a list of experiences that combine both that every woman needs to have. Why? Because it will help shape your sexual future. Your future, Marty! Let’s get right into it.
1. Having sex when you feel “fat.”
There are times when I don’t want to have sex because I’m too worried about my body, and how ridiculous is that? Because the thing is, the person having sex with you probably doesn’t care about your tummy — because they’re having sex with you. So don’t worry about what you look like. Just enjoy the experience. You’ll feel so much better after (and during!).
2. Trying something new in bed.
Sometimes new = scary, and it’s time to put a stop to that. Don’t be afraid to try new things in bed. You might like them! And if you don’t, you can always say, “Okay, I changed my mind, I don’t like this” and that’s it, the end. So go ahead and try something new.
3. Realizing the fantasy isn’t as good as the real thing.
There are times in life when you build up something so much in your head, that the reality of what it is, is a disappointment. Sex can be like this, too. In some ways I think it’s important to have that reality come crashing down on you, because it makes you realize that you have to take the moments as they come, and not build them up in your mind. You have to live in reality, and in the present. And sometimes, you just have to know. If the fantasy is as good then, hey — bonus!
4. Having sex with an unselfish partner.
Hopefully all your sex experiences are with unselfish partners, but every woman needs to experience sex with a truly giving, completely selfless person. It makes you feel like a goddess, and makes you more comfortable with your own sexuality.
5. Having embarrassing sex.
By which I mean something like, having sex at a party where everyone knows you’re doing it, or doing something during the act that’s embarrassing (like when Carrie farted in bed in front of Big and freaked out for the rest of the episode.) Why? To prove that you can rise above it! When we’re embarrassed, we’re faced with a challenge: do we cave into the humiliation, or do we hold our head high? We grow more when we hold our heads high. So don’t be afraid of a little embarrassment. It’s good for the soul.
6. Getting it on with that “forbidden” person.
Don’t do anything illegal here. I mean something like, having sex with your brother’s friend. The taboo stuff, not the illegal stuff. Don’t try to seduce your chemistry teacher. Having taboo sex, or getting it on with that forbidden person, is a giddy thrill that everyone should try, as long as it doesn’t lead to hurt feelings or jail time. AGAIN, DON’T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL.
7. Vacation sex.
Don’t get to take many vacations? Hey, that’s okay — a vacation can be a state of mind. Have a “staycation” where you decide to stay in all weekend and do NOTHING — except banging. Think of it as a necessary rejuvenation process.
8. Doing it with someone who “isn’t your type.”
Having sex with someone who “isn’t your type” might just be the best sex of your life! How would you know unless you try it? Of course, you have to be somewhat attracted to the person for it to really sizzle, so what I’m suggesting here isn’t necessarily going opposite your type, but instead, broadening your horizons. Maybe you only go for super skinny David Bowie-esque guys, but that dude in glasses and ironic T-shirts is really doing it for you. Persue it! You might be pleasantly surprised.
9. Having sex on your period.
To quote Louis C.K.: “Young guys are afraid of women’s bodies. ‘My girlfriend’s having her period. What do I do?’ Fuck her in the period hole, you idiot. What’s the dilemma? I don’t give a shit. If you’re having your period, come on over. I’m 41. I’ll fuck the shit out of you. I’ll drink the blood. Let’s party.” Ladies, having your period isn’t something you should be ashamed of, and it shouldn’t prevent you from having sex. It’s just life. Get over it.
10. Having sex with someone older.
Having sex with someone significantly older than you are (BUT STILL LEGAL), is an experience everyone should have. I can only speak to having sex with older men, and I can say, it’s great. Older guys, like Louis C.K. mentioned, are fearless compared to younger dudes. And they have experience. And they want to please you. It all makes for a great sexual experience!
Which sexual experiences did I leave out? Cheers!
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